I asked someone I love and respect for some advice. His response was simple.
"Live your truth Rachel."
Live my truth? What? That's not advice! Or, is it?
Perfection is not realistic. Choices must be made. Consequences are the outcomes of those choices. There are good consequences and bad. Mistakes are sometimes made. Not learning from those mistakes is the biggest mistake of all.
“You must accept yourself to feel worthy”
You can choose to be a victim of fate or a survivor of consequences. Accept yourself and your imperfections.
“Who are you and what do you stand for”
I, am Rachel. Wife and mother of four.
What I stand for, is family. My family, the one I created with my husband. The husband who I chose. They are my world and what is most important to me.
To me, this means, being supportive and fair, compassionate and understanding; teaching morals and ethics, respect and empathy, honesty and confidence.
Although I was raised that in speaking the truth you may hurt another persons’ feelings and therefore you were rude and disrespectful, I want to teach my children to always be honest and truthful. If it offends or hurts, an apology that it was not intended to should suffice. In most circumstances.
I want my children to always believe in themselves, to do what is good and right, and to follow their dreams.
To instill these qualities, I have a responsibility to portray them all the same, with confidence.
“How will I define my truth”
“How will I be proud of my truth and live it”
If my speaking of the truth hurts your feelings, that says more about you than it does me and that is not my problem to solve, UNLESS, you are my husband or child.
If I have to question your motives for wanting to be a part of my life and the life of my children, other than for the simple fact that you love us and want to be a part of our lives, then you do not deserve a place in it. And I definitely should not be left feeling guilty for not meeting the needs of your hidden motives.
There are many games in life that require competition. Being a good person, a good wife and a good mother is not one of those. I accept that we all parent differently, we define friendship differently and we all cope with stress differently. I will not listen to your stories and follow them with a story of my own showcasing how I did better than you. If this is what you want of me or what you want to do to me, move along. I have more enjoyable things to do than to compete with you.
If you need me for something but I am honestly overwhelmed with my family and I need to say no, I will say no. I will not apologize for saying no. Just as I have to accept when others are not available to me, others must accept the same of me.
I will stop being afraid. I will believe in myself that I am capable of making the right choices for me and my family. I will have faith that no matter the consequences of my choices, good or bad, I will survive.
I accept that this will not always be easy and that I will be tested at times. But I also accept that my livelihood and the livelihood of my family depends on my commitment to living my truth.
To ensure that I stay true to myself and live my truth, I will take time to myself every day and reflect.
(c) Rachel Rennie